There are men whose work is to get unmarried women of 40–50 pregnant paid for the seed, then gone. The child is part of the deal only until conception. After that, fatherhood is treated as optional. That is not God’s design. That is a market. A child is not a product. A man is not a stud. A woman is not a client. Fatherhood is a covenant calling, not a fee. God joined sex, marriage, and children together in one holy pattern: one man, one woman, one flesh, for life. When we pull them apart, someone always pays usually the child who grows up asking, “Where is my father?” A bank transfer does not answer that question. If you are a woman who reached 40 or 50 without a husband or children, hear this with tenderness: the ache is real. Old age can be lonely. The world will sell you a shortcut a vial, a stranger, a contract, a baby with no dad in the house. Do not buy it. Your Maker is your Husband. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name.” Isaiah 54:5 He is a Father to the fatherless and a defender of the widow. Psalm 68:5
Tell God the grief. He can hold it. Do not baptize the pain as “God made me for this arrangement.”
Refuse to create a fatherless child to soothe loneliness. That is using a person to treat a wound.
Find family in the household of God spiritual sons and daughters, the church, younger women to mother (Titus 2).
Practice contentment in Christ, not denial of desire (Philippians 4:11–13). Desire can be real and still not licensed.
Serve. Loneliness shrinks when love is poured out. Holiness is costly. So is loneliness. Choose the cost that leads to life. You are not forgotten. You are not a case for hire. You belong to Christ
Being a single mother or a young widow can be difficult. Many still desire a godly husband, a peaceful home, and someone with whom they can grow old. But for a mother with children, marriage is not only about finding a husband. She must also think seriously about the safety and future of her children.
Sadly, not every man who appears loving and godly has good intentions. Jesus warned about people who come in “sheep’s clothing” but inwardly are dangerous wolves (Matthew 7:15).
There are painful stories of women who remarried hoping that the new husband would become a loving father to their children, only for those children to later suffer sexual abuse or other forms of mistreatment. In some cases, the marriage itself becomes abusive and destructive.
Does this mean Christian single mothers and widows should give up on marriage? No.
There are still godly men who genuinely fear God, respect women, protect children, and understand the responsibility of becoming a husband and stepfather. But a woman should never rush into marriage because she is lonely, under pressure, struggling financially, or afraid of growing old alone.
Marriage requires prayer, wisdom, patience, careful observation, godly counsel, and proper knowledge of the person you intend to marry. A man’s character matters more than his promises.
For the Church, this is also a call to action. Young widows and single mothers should not be abandoned to struggle alone. The Church should provide spiritual support, genuine friendship, practical assistance, wise counselling, and a safe community for them and their children.
We must also teach the younger generation the importance of Biblical sexual purity. Sexual purity will not eliminate every cause of single motherhood—some women become single mothers through widowhood, abandonment, divorce, abuse, or other circumstances. But abstaining from sex outside marriage can prevent many unplanned pregnancies and some of the painful situations that follow them.
Our young people need to understand that God’s instructions concerning sexual purity are not meant to destroy their happiness. They are boundaries intended for their good.
And to the Christian single mother or young widow wondering about her future: your life is not over.
Marriage may still be part of your future, but marriage should never become more important than obedience to God or the safety of your children. Seek God, walk in wisdom, protect your children, and never ignore serious warning signs simply because you desire companionship.
“A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.” — Proverbs 22:3
Let us build Christian communities where widows, single mothers, fatherless children, and vulnerable families are protected, supported, and loved.
Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo Launches Christian Matchmaking Platform With ₦700,000 VIP Plan
Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo has launched Mentor To Marry, a Christian marriage-preparation and matchmaking platform designed to help Christian singles aged 25 and above prepare for marriage and connect with potential partners.
Unlike conventional dating platforms that may focus primarily on finding matches, Mentor To Marry places mentorship and marriage preparation before matchmaking. Participants are expected to undergo an eight-week mentoring programme, including assessments and accountability, before receiving recommendations or introductions.
The platform offers three annual membership packages: Regular – ₦70,000, Premium – ₦350,000, and VIP – ₦700,000. The VIP package includes additional support such as a dedicated matchmaker and coach.
The initiative is operated through Love, Dating and Marriage Ministries, founded by Pastors Kingsley and Mildred Okonkwo.
For Christians pursuing biblical sexual purity, the development raises an important conversation about intentional relationships. In a culture where casual sex, sexual immorality and uncommitted relationships are increasingly normalized, Christian singles need more than attraction—they need wisdom, accountability, spiritual maturity and a clear understanding of God’s purpose for marriage.
Whether or not one chooses a paid matchmaking service, the biblical principle remains: relationships should honour God, protect sexual purity and approach marriage with wisdom and intentionality.
Christian singles must remember that finding a spouse should never become more important than remaining faithful to Christ.
“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3 (KJV)
Before introducing sex toys or other sexual aids into marriage, couples should prayerfully consider several questions:
Does it strengthen intimacy between us? Marital sexuality should draw husband and wife closer rather than make either spouse feel inadequate, unwanted, or replaceable.
Could it become a dependency? If a person becomes unable or unwilling to enjoy intimacy without a particular object or stimulation, it may begin to control rather than serve the marriage. Christians are called to exercise self-control (Galatians 5:22–23).
Does it introduce lustful influences? If the practice is connected to pornography, fantasies about other people, or sexually immoral content, it introduces influences that are contrary to marital faithfulness. Jesus warned about cultivating lust in the heart (Matthew 5:28).
Are both spouses genuinely comfortable with it? Sexual intimacy should never involve manipulation, pressure, fear, or coercion. Love seeks the wellbeing of the other person. A husband or wife should not be pressured into a sexual practice simply to satisfy the other spouse.
Does it trouble either spouse’s conscience? A Christian should not ignore a troubled conscience simply for the sake of pleasure. Couples should be able to discuss sexual matters honestly and respectfully without ridicule or pressure.
Protect the Marriage Bed
Modern culture often presents sexual pleasure as something without moral boundaries. Christianity offers a different perspective: our bodies and desires should also come under the lordship of Christ.
This does not mean that sexual pleasure within marriage is wrong. On the contrary, Scripture presents marital affection as something beautiful. But pleasure should never become the master of the relationship.
Christian couples should guard against anything that gradually replaces natural affection, creates unrealistic expectations, encourages pornography or fantasy, produces dependency, or damages emotional intimacy.
Biblical Sexual Purity and the Battle Against Pornography
Pornography is one of the most widespread and destructive challenges to sexual purity in our generation. What was once hidden is now instantly accessible, often free, and aggressively marketed. From a biblical perspective, pornography is not a private or harmless habit—it is a form of sexual immorality that directly opposes God’s design for sexuality and holiness.
What Scripture Says
The Bible does not use the modern word “pornography,” yet it speaks clearly to the heart of the issue. Jesus taught that lustful looking is already adultery of the heart:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28
Pornography trains the heart to do exactly this—to look with lust, to objectify image-bearers of God, and to feed desires that should be reserved for the covenant of marriage. Paul commands believers to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18) and to take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Pornography is the opposite of fleeing; it is inviting sexual impurity into the mind and body repeatedly.
Scripture also calls us to purity of mind and to set our minds on things above (Colossians 3:2; Philippians 4:8). Pornography fills the mind with images and fantasies that compete with the renewing work of the Holy Spirit.
Why Pornography Is Spiritually Destructive
Pornography damages more than just “personal purity.” It:
Objectifies people – It reduces men and women created in God’s image to objects for consumption.
Rewires desire – It trains the brain to crave novelty, intensity, and unreality instead of the slow, faithful, self-giving love of marriage.
Erodes intimacy – It creates unrealistic expectations and often diminishes the ability to form healthy, real-world relationships.
Hardens the conscience – Repeated exposure can dull spiritual sensitivity and make repentance feel more distant.
Opens doors to further sin – What begins as “just looking” frequently leads to deeper patterns of sexual sin.
God designed sex to be a profound act of mutual self-giving within marriage. Pornography is the counterfeit—isolated, one-sided, and centered on self-gratification.
The Call to Freedom
Biblical sexual purity does not ignore the power of this struggle. Many faithful believers fight hard battles against pornography. The call of Scripture is not “try harder in your own strength,” but to fight in the power of the Spirit and with practical wisdom.
Practical steps rooted in biblical principles include:
Radical removal – Jesus spoke of cutting off whatever causes you to stumble (Matthew 5:29-30). This may mean filters, accountability software, removing devices from private spaces, or changing habits that lead to compromise.
Accountability – “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). Isolation feeds the habit; honest community weakens it.
Renewing the mind – Replace the images with Scripture, worship, and truth. Fill the heart with what is pure so there is less room for what is impure.
Understanding the deeper issues – Pornography often masks loneliness, stress, boredom, shame, or unmet emotional needs. True freedom involves bringing those deeper places to Christ.
Remembering grace – Failure does not mean God has abandoned you. 1 John 1:9 remains true: confession brings forgiveness and cleansing. Get up, repent, and keep walking.
Hope for the Struggle
No one is beyond the reach of God’s restoring power. Many who once felt enslaved to pornography now walk in increasing freedom because they took the battle seriously, sought help, and relied on the Holy Spirit. Freedom is usually progressive rather than instant, but it is real.
Biblical sexual purity is not about achieving perfection through willpower. It is about belonging to Christ, being transformed by His Spirit, and learning to desire what He desires. Pornography offers temporary stimulation at the cost of long-term damage. Holiness offers lasting joy, clearer conscience, deeper intimacy with God, and the ability to love others with pure hearts.
If this is a struggle for you, you are not alone—and you do not have to fight alone. Bring it into the light. Seek help. Keep turning to the One who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before His glory with great joy (Jude 24).
Purity is possible. Freedom is available. And the God who calls you to holiness is the same God who supplies the grace to walk in it.
Grace, mercy, and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Today we turn our attention to a subject that many carry in silence and shame: sexual purity and the reality of sexual addiction. Whether it is pornography, lust, compulsive sexual behavior, or any other form of sexual sin, this struggle is far more common than most people admit—even in the church. Yet the Word of God does not leave us without hope or direction.
Sexual purity is not about willpower alone. It is about belonging to Christ.
More Than a Habit — A Spiritual Battle
When a person is trapped in sexual addiction, they are not simply struggling with a bad habit that can be broken by trying harder. They are engaged in a spiritual battle for the ownership of their body and mind. The enemy of our souls understands the power of sexual desire. He knows that if he can capture the mind and body in this area, he can keep a person in cycles of guilt, secrecy, and defeat.
The apostle Paul speaks with striking clarity in 1 Corinthians 6:18:
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
Notice the command is not “manage it carefully” or “reduce it gradually.” The command is to flee. Sexual immorality is unique because it is a sin against one’s own body. It is not merely an external action; it reaches into the deepest places of who we are. This is why addiction in this area feels so powerful and so personal. It is a battle for ownership.
You Are Not Your Own
Paul continues in the very next verses:
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19–20)
This is the foundation of biblical sexual purity. Your body does not belong to you. It does not belong to your desires. It does not belong to the images on a screen or the fantasies in your mind. It belongs to the Lord Jesus Christ, who purchased it with His own blood. The Holy Spirit has taken up residence within you. Therefore, every decision about purity is ultimately a decision about whose authority you will live under.
Willpower alone is not enough because the problem is deeper than behavior. The problem is one of ownership and identity. As long as a person believes they still have the right to use their body however they please, the addiction will continue to find strength. But when a person truly grasps that they have been bought with a price and now belong fully to Christ, a new power begins to operate.
Addiction Is Real — and So Is Freedom
Let us be honest: addiction is real. The pull of sexual sin can feel overwhelming. It rewires the mind, creates deep patterns, and often leaves a person feeling powerless. Many have cried out in private, “Why can’t I stop?” The answer is not that they are uniquely weak. The answer is that they are fighting a spiritual enemy who uses the flesh as his battlefield.
Yet the same Bible that tells us the battle is real also declares that the power of God is greater. Jesus said, “Everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin… So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:34, 36). Freedom is not found in stronger self-discipline alone. Freedom is found in a Person—Jesus Christ—who breaks the power of sin and sets captives free.
The gospel does not merely forgive the addicted person. It also empowers them to walk in newness of life. Romans 6:6–7 tells us that our old self was crucified with Christ so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. The same resurrection power that raised Jesus from the dead is available to the believer who turns to Him in repentance and faith.
A Call to Belong Fully to Christ
If you are reading this and you know the grip of sexual addiction, hear this with both truth and compassion: You are not beyond the reach of God’s power. Your struggle does not disqualify you from His love. But it does require a decisive response.
Flee. Do not negotiate with the sin. Do not manage it in secret. Bring it into the light through confession to God and to trusted believers who can walk with you. Seek accountability. Fill your mind with the Word of God. Ask the Holy Spirit daily for the strength you do not possess in yourself.
Sexual purity is not first about rules. It is about relationship. It is about belonging. When you belong to Christ, your body is no longer available for the use of sin. It has a higher Owner and a higher purpose—to glorify God.
May the Lord open our eyes to see the seriousness of this battle. May He also open our hearts to receive the greater reality of His power to set free. And may every one of us who names the name of Christ live as those who have been bought with a price—body, mind, and soul.
To Him who is able to keep us from falling and to present us blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, both now and forever. Amen.
This is a Christian site that teaches Godly sexuality. This is a mandate that God gave to Hosanna David, that he should proclaim the Truth about godly sexuality to mankind.
